WASHINGTON – Today Tom Daschle and other Democratic leaders announced the Alliance of Really Nice Countries (ARNC). Senator Daschle said that he and the other Democratic leaders felt it was necessary to announce this Alliance as a counter balance to President Bush’s “Axis of evil”.
“We don’t want the rest of the world to get the impression that we are a just bunch of name callers and warmongers,” said Senator Daschle. “There are some really nice nations out there and we want to recognize them.”
Senator Daschle’s spokesman Ben Imalyr stated that the Senator and his colleagues had not limited the list to just three countries.
“We made sure that we have representatives from many diverse places and groups in order not to offend anyone,” said Imalyr. “We feel that all reasonable people will agree that this is the best of what the world has to offer.”
Included on the list are the Netherlands, New Zealand, Jamaica, Cameroon, Kyrgyzstan, and Greenpeace.
“We picked Cameroon because the name makes us think of cookies and who doesn’t like cookies,” Said Daschles’s spokesman.
“We picked the Netherlands because of their friendly people and many Democratic staffers that have visited downtown Amsterdam have reported they had a very enjoyable time.”
“Jamaica made the list because have you ever not seen a Jamaican not smiling? Plus, Miss Cleo has been helpful in some our campaigns.”
“New Zealand is on the list because we just love the attitude those Kiwi’s have and we think Americans could learn a lot from their socialist policies.”
“We chose Kyrgyzstan because we felt we need one of the ‘stan’ counties on our list and though we never been there we’re told it’s a beautiful country.”
When asked why Greenpeace was included on the list Imalyr responded that even though Greenpeace was not a country they are the de facto rulers of Antarctica and that the hope is the environmental policies backed by Greenpeace will become law around the world.
Daschle explained that if any nations felt left out they could apply to become one of the member nations of the ARNC and a committee would review their petition.
The Alliance of Really Nice Countries